WHY I DECIDED TO LOSE WEIGHT

Criticism is hard but it’s much harder when it’s coming from your partner.

 “When are you going to lose weight?” “Why are you so fat?” “When are you going to get skinny?” these are few statements that I received from my significant other almost everyday for the last 2 years. 

As much as I say that my partner is the most generous, selfless, kind, patient, loving man I know he has his flaws as well, and one of his weaknesses is skinny girls. It’s always been a constant battle in this relationship. All of the other problems we had – me being fat is root cause of it all. I don’t know maybe some of you think that I’m just here making excuses for him and maybe I am. At the end of the day I have the choice to stay or to leave and I obviously choose to make it work by losing weight to save my relationship. 

It hurts me that every time I see a girl with a skinny body I feel like they are a threat to me. Everyday I’m suffering the feeling of not being good enough for my man because I have extra pounds. Trust me I know that feeling very well. I’m Asian and we are known to be skinny but not all of us are. So my man constantly asks me and compare me to all of the skinny girls we see at the mall. Sometimes I caught him staring hard and looking back at those girls with the body that I do not have. 

I was bullied in my younger years and suffered depression throughout my teenage and young adult life. I’m only 21 and I’m not supposed to be obese but food became my best friend and from it I found comfort. Not gonna lie what my man did and still doing is hard to swallow. But in my perspective, I’m grateful that he’s being honest about it and have given me a chance to work on it when he could’ve just gave up. I also appreciate his honesty and brutality of his words and I took it as he just love me enough to correct me. Because at the end of the day I never want to be fat anyway. I just let my self go and I guess this is God sending me man to help me get on track. I do not want the feeling that every time I go shopping I ended up disappointing my self cause I left empty handed cause nothing fits! I’m just done with it all! I want to look good for my man and for myself above all! I wasn’t born fat and I was pretty much skinny for the most part. So this is me taking back the power that I lost and loving my self more! Currently I’m 185 lbs when I should’ve only been 100lbs to be at my normal weight. 85lbs to lose is not easy. Weight loss is hard but what’s harder is looking at the mirror and dislike what I see. 

So to all of you reading my blog and also decided to take control of your life, let’s do this together! 

Losing weight is hard, being overweight is hard. CHOOSE YOUR HARD. 

Your girl,

Clue 

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